Today's Writing Circle Prompt: We don’t know anything. There is a place between
here and there, between mystery and science, between staying and
leaving, between choice and becoming: a place where most of us do not
want to stay very long. We want to name and explain everything. We want
to understand, to know – so we can put things in their places.
And yet, sitting in this space of not yet, of “I don’t know,” can be
the most powerful place of all. For it is here, having departed the
familiar and not yet arrived at the ‘who knows where,’ that anything is
possible. Come and sit in the in-between for a while. Write from there.
Consider, from this place of becoming and dreams, what is moving
toward you through the silence? What gathers at the edges of your life,
awaiting entry? What clarity have you left behind in order to embrace
the not-yet-formed? What is beginning to stir inside of you, not yet
born but almost ready to emerge?
The Gap. The place of Pure Potential. The Space Between. Between the Lines. The Silence that Speaks Volumes. Is it possible that we actually don't know anything? Or is it more likely that we know, or have access to, more than we can understand in one fell swoop?
I believe the latter. I believe that Visionaries lead us to places many of us don't have the Imagination to clearly see ourselves. I believe that we host Inspired Moments where the possible presents itself to us in full technicolour ~ and it is up to us to embrace it, accept it and run with it -- or write it off as a dream.
I believe that we are infinitely creative with potential beyond description. I also believe that many of us don't believe that to be true of ourselves.
"There are stories in our silences. The things that don't get said speak louder than we even dream they can. They echo through the space between, the place I long to be - and this never-ending empty where I am." ~ Don Aker, The Space Between.
We know lots. What we don't all know is how to meaningfully tap into the Source that knows, so that we, too, may know. Maybe because the path has not always been easy or pleasant for that person who knows, who tries to teach, and who meets resistance because of the change s/he represents.
The wisdom is abundant for those who admit they don't yet know everything; for their minds, and hearts, are open to new information, new experience and creative new ideas. Slipping into 'the Gap' and seeing/hearing/feeling inspiration lights your heart aflame and sparks your Spirit to life.
Where would we be if not for the Visionaries who not only captured an idea as it emerged from within them ~ but then acted on it too?
Be the Wind of Change, no matter how small or large your gesture ~ if inspiration finds you, honour it, act on it and know that somehow, somewhere - your act is significant.
This morning, I joined a Writing Circle. It runs through the month of December and anyone with an inkling to join is more than welcome to do so.
I read about it here, at my friend Amy Oscar's site. She'll be sharing 'about one prompt per day' (can you feel the breathing space already? She'll do her best to provide prompts each day, we'll do our best to participate whenever we can - very inviting, I think) and interested participants determine their levels of interest, availability of time, mode of creative expression, etc.
Today's prompt isBegin. We are going on a journey. Who knows where it will lead? What will you take along? What will you leave behind.
Write it as a list; write it into a story; do a photo essay; make a collage. Consider including things which other people might not see, if they rifled through your luggage: experiences, memories, intentions. Tell us your destination (if you want to, if you know). What map (if any) will you use to chart your course? Will you strike out on your own, pack the newborn into a Snugli? Will you travel on foot, by car, by magic carpet? Do you journey alone or shall we walk side-by-side?
I'll be posting my reflections here ~ when inspired to do so, and also - when time allows. If you choose to join this Circle, please let me know so that we can support each other along the way. If you're on Twitter and desire to tweet your blog post links - use this hashtag so other participants have the opportunity to read your work too: #DecWritO
Mmm Hmm she says I began to sing long before I could talk ...
In the world in my head ~ Life is one beautiful musical.
A song score underlines key interactions ~ rendering it impossible for pain, hurt, fear and confusion to lie silent beneath the surface. Emotions are felt; their beat, timbre and nuance unmistakable..
Words are replaced by symbols - allowing faster access to the heart with less chance of misinterpretation or misunderstanding.
We all have time in the spotlight as Solo Artists, when necessary or appropriate - and we're also part of beautiful back-up groups for others. Transition from Soloist to Back-Up happens with ease - allowing the message to determine the overall performance.
Harmony rules ~ even in discord, there would be a place for each voice and a definition and context for each sound.
Creative expression is exaggerated - dancers leap and spin, singers belt it out from their diaphragms and all members of any given scene contribute value and play their roles with care and attention.
We always play to a full house - appreciative audiences, who respond to our efforts immediately and never leaving us wondering if we've been seen, heard or paid attention to.
Having someone always available to tend to clothes, hair and make-up is handy too.
And with each day, I have the opportunity to bring this inner world into my outer world ~ allowing each interaction, project and situation I'm engaged with a chance to begin from a magical place; filling my heart and soul in the process.
I've been blog writing for awhile. Not consistently in any one place ~ and the name of my blog site tends to change when I feel the motivation behind my writing changes.
Almost two years ago, I launched a blog called Finding My Self Along the Way. (Right now, it's called Where Sissies Fear to Tread - it's not getting much use at the moment, but it's about to. You can find it here if you'd like to connect with me there too. But I digress.)
That's been a big deal to me - finding my Self, with a capital S, the essence of Who I Am, What I Have to Gift and How Best I Can Serve. There's a lot of online encouragement to engage in this practice too - quotations flow in abundance, Spiritual and Self-Help Experts open FB pages and Twitter accounts for easier access, workshops, e-books, communities and kindred seekers are all but a mouse click or two away. And while I have found aspects of m Self that had lain dormant for awhile ~ in this quest toward Honesty and this passage to Truth and Purpose, I must also admit that at some point - the practice stopped helping and served instead to hinder.
Gone Gone Gone She's Been Gone So Long I Wonder If I'm Ever Gonna See That Girl ..
We are fluid beings. We grow, we change, we improve, we regress, we learn, we forget ~ and we keep moving forward into our next best selves, day in and day out.
There are most definitely time periods in my life when I liked myself better. There are times when I impressed myself more. There are times when I'm disappointed in who I was and there are times when I don't even recognize myself as me, so different am I now from then.
If you embrace the theory that all there is, is NOW, this present moment ~ shaped by the past and preparing for the future, Finding Your Self can be helpful - and also, detrimental.
I know that deep disconnect from Self is possible. I know that one's own dreams and goals can be veiled behind the dreams and goals of others ~ and that it's possible not to even know this until you've realized or achieved the dream or goal, only to feel much emptier than you'd anticipated.
I know that if putting your Self into your own Life has never been a daily practice for you, that if you lived to please others, impress others, be recognized by others only to somehow never feel fulfilled by all of that - I know that in cases like this, connecting with Who You Are may be a valuable first step.
I also know that the process of Finding One's Self can become a life-long endeavour in keeping one's self stuck and to be forever lost in the finding, the seeking, the excavating - resulting in a disconnection of potentially greater proportion than the one that initially started your searching: you become lost in what was, what might be and how to possibly get there from here.
Who do you desire to create your Self to be?
Believe me, I am not judging anyone engaged with inner healing, inner connection and self-identification. Goodness, I've been doing it for quite some time myself. And as someone who often struggled to comfortably answer, "Who am I?" - I feel compelled to share that it became much easier to do when I stopped looking at the word NOWHERE and started seeing instead, NOW HERE.
I am Now Here. In any given moment of any given day - I am Now Here.
I know more than I did up to this moment, I'm capable of choosing thoughts, words and actions differently than I did up to this moment, and I'm capable of creating a Self that lives up to my potential whenever I choose.
I am Now Here - and I can choose to emulate beautiful qualities I admire in others, qualities that I always discover were within me all along ~ I'd just needed them reflected to me by someone who allowed me to see that it was possible.
I am Now Here - and I can choose to apply focus and attention to priorities that matter to me, or priorities that matter to others, or to activities that can be stretched out to fill an entire day - but really constitute busy work that allows me to procrastinate on what I know, in my heart, really deserves and requires my attention.
I am Now Here - and I can see People Pleasing as a disease that's rendering me ineffective - or I can put it into a healthier context and implement it in a more responsible way in the recognition that serving others IS a meaningful expression of who we all are at heart; Self-ish vs Self-less.
My point is this ...
It is critical to have personal boundaries - and sometimes, Life calls for those boundaries to be elastic. Self-healing is important - if the inner well depletes, you truly do have nothing of value to give. Self-absorption is non-productive. We learn most about our Selves in relationship with others. Through others, we learn what we determine to be acceptable and not acceptable. We learn what feels comfortable and what feels uncomfortable. With exploration and willingness to try new things ~ we hone in on what makes our hearts sing and what shuts us down completely. Through others, we more easily determine Who We Are Not, Who We Are Now and Who We Desire To Create Ourselves To Be.
And know this, the information you are gathering and collecting is time sensitive and best used sooner than later. Because tomorrow, or next week, or 6 months from now ~ Who You Are Now may be firmly allocated to Who You Were Back Then.
The common denominator in all this, is YOU.
Whatever you're thinking, whatever you're saying, whatever you're doing, whatever you're dreaming - THAT is Who You Are, Here Now. And if any of that displeases you - then you have the responsibility to your Self to identify what you will now do to create your Self as you better desire to be.
A perspective shift that may help all of us who are in the process of moving through, under, over or past something on the way from one place to another is this: we are not Seekers or Finders so much as we are Beautiful Creators.
What inspires us? What do we hold as important in our hearts? Who have we seen thinking or speaking or behaving in a way that caused Admiration to rise within us? And how do we go about bringing the 'all of that' into our every day realities in a way that allows US to serve as breathing inspirations to others?
I find myself withdrawing from Life a lot. I have the capacity to engage, to focus with intent, to honour with purpose and to connect in community; but lately, I have lacked a desire to do so.
I spoke about this with an online friend of mine last week. (Her name is Annie - she shares her thoughts, opinions and feelings about life in general here ~ and her honesty and word mastery is enviable.) Part of the conversation focused on the grumpiness we were feeling about trends we're seeing in Social Media. Most of the 'grump' was mine ~ but Annie could certainly relate to what I was saying and has, at times, felt the same.
At root, for me, is a stream of Self Absorption that runs through just about everything. Apathy, too, gloops about in abundance - an inability or unwillingness to critically think, to focus, to engage and to contribute with significance in meaningful ways.
I did acknowledge that this could all be the hormones speaking. One of the Gifts of Menopause, I think, is the increasing inability to
tolerate stupidity, insignificance, egocentric drivel and lazy effort.
At least, that's been my gift -- though not knowing exactly what to DO
with this gift, it still feels much like a curse. Life was easier when
Accepting came so easily to me.
At the end of the day though ~ I am judging what I see taking place all around me and not really doing too much to change things. Where would I even begin?
I did joke about launching a Wake Up Revolution ~ but from my experience with many in my off-line life - there's a happiness with the way things are and the way things appear to be going and the consensus seems to be that 'I think too much' and 'need to lighten up' because 'I take things way too seriously.'
It's lonely though. The sense of isolation, the desire to see things differently, the need to respond to Life in new ways, the yearning to infuse purpose into most everything I do and to respect my Self for the personal responsibility I bring to each interaction, circumstance and event in my life ~ all of that, and the feeling that I'm doing that alone, is hard.
So, here's what I think I'll do, for now ...
I'm going to find my way back to places that honour me, feelings I'd like to experience, values and qualities I hold as sacred. I will open my heart to the possibility that maybe everything I believe to be true about things that really matter to me - maybe there's the possibility that my thinking is flawed, my beliefs are founded on something other than truth - and I'm willingly and actively exploring this possibility with an open mind and a desire to re-assess, recalibrate and make informed choices as a result of what I learn.
I'm embracing What If? What if I'm not alone in feeling lost and adrift at times where transition is desirable.? What if I'm not the only one who wishes that there was less lip service to working towards what really matters and more action to get us there? What if others would like to see a shift in the way we currently live our lives - and perhaps share a desire to actively engage in that shift, and maybe we'll even connect and synergize and be the change we'd each like to see and experience?
What if?
This week, I'm beginning with Humility.
"Humility ... gives us a connection with everything older than we are and so, provides us with a calming perspective outside of our daily worries, and often beyond our understanding.
... How we all climb through the trials of our outer life to the precipice of humility and indwell there on the edge of mystery. How we climb through our suffering to a place where we can carve out a tiny home from which to dizzy ourselves with the knowledge that we are small and the Universe is big.
... There, on the inner cliffs where humbled creatures meet to see what can't be seen and know what can't be known, we spread our arms like hawks to taste the ancient air. We spread our minds like trees rooted on the edge to accept the end of knowledge arriving like sun, not to instruct us but to warm us and help us grow."(p. 266, The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo)
It is important for me to be Humble. Gratitude flows more easily. Miracles begin reappearing all around me. Wonder and reverence is experienced in the most ordinary of moments. This is a good starting place for me. Somewhere I feel a real interest in showing up.
If this is a passage you're undertaking right now - at any stage or in any way, shape or form ~ let me know. It would be nice to have friends to check in with from time to time.
